that stripper pole

Sometimes after a wild night out you can wake up feeling awesome, on top of the world, and HOT. You think back to the many drinks you consumed and how you didn’t throw up once, or maybe how you danced all night in those six inch heels while holding onto that stripper pole, like a boss. Maybe you remember all the hot guys that just wanted to be near you and you brushed them off. Some mornings indeed are like this, but there is a very efficient way to spoil this “last night was awesome” high, and that my friends is new engagement posts.

In the blink of an eye you just went from awesome out all night party girl to what am I doing with my life girl. Suddenly that stripper pole you danced on seems slutty and desperate and the dress you wore a sad appeal for attention.

It’s especially terrible when the person posting about their engagement is younger than you.Why? I don’t know it just is. Her pictures that morning are of her and her new fiance in a field of flowers, their faces practically breaking in half from smiling so hard. Suddenly you’re saddened by your own Facebook pictures that are simultaneously showing up below the ever so in love couple. They are of you sweaty on a dance floor, dancing with girls several years younger and men you have never met before. So in comparison your life just appears sad where as theirs is glorious.

You have two options as this point: 1. decide that you are not ever again going to get on Facebook the morning after a good night out, someone is probably going to have a baby next and trust me the newborn’s photos are definitely going to look angelic above the picture of you grinding on the bartender. 2. go look up current statistics on divorce rates and think of all the fights you’re missing over who is in charge of the remote. Marriage is hard, lets remember that.

So in short my dears,enjoy that freedom and hold on tight to that stripper pole.

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