I didn’t even like him

Two days ago I came home from happy hour with one of my wonderful single girl friends, and I bawled in the shower.

Like seriously though, bawled.

OVER A GUY I DIDN’T EVEN LIKE.

I know that sounds confusing, because it is.

This boy that I’m apparently crying over now is just a simple cute guy that works at the sports bar down the street from my work. I rarely even think of him unless I see him or I’m at his bar. He is blonde and I don’t even like blondes.

My friend told me at happy hour the other night that he has a girlfriend. He has had a girlfriend apparently the entire time I’ve known him. I HAD NO IDEA.

For ages I thought this guy was single. Single, cute, and sweet…but mostly single. We would flirt now and then and I just felt it was nice to be reminded that hey there are normal guys out there who are still single. Guys with steady jobs, college educations, and normal social skills. This guy has all three plus other talents and hobbies as well as a rather cheery disposition!

I know it sounds like I’m in love with him but truly I wasn’t. Though I thought it fantastic that he was single (which he wasn’t) and exciting that he could be a possible option (which he wasn’t) I did not think of him until he was in front of me, or I was drunkenly stumbling past his bar, or unless a friend asked about him.

So the bawling in the shower might appear to come from the loss of this guy but I think it’s more of a loss of self esteem than anything else. God knows he probably flirted with me out of pity.

He was one of the last normal single guys my age that I knew of in my everyday life here in the city. Currently trying to remember what other single males I know and the list is getting rather shallow, so much so that I actually cant come up with any at the moment.

But back to the point, he has a frieking girlfriend. Seriously?

I sort of wish my friend had never told me. I liked the illusion that there were single guys out there still.

Damnit reality, why do you ruin happy hour.

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