the stroller

I just want to state that I love my sister. Truly and truly and truly I do.

But when she is describing to me her plan to walk about her neighborhood and inspect the sidewalk; the cracks, bumps, and gravel, to then evaluate the kind of stroller she’ll be needing, I feel not only the urge to strangle her but also anyone in the business of supplying strollers.

Now let me just note, she already has a stroller picked out. Her son, my nephew, will not be born until the end of August, but she has had her stroller picked out for over a month.

This was until she realized, “what if the stroller can’t properly manage the state of the sidewalk in the neighborhood we live in?” Now I don’t know where she thinks she is living currently, but it sounds to me like she has her suburban area confused with a mountainous terrain or a spot out in the country where aliens previously landed and left giant craters.

I mean strollers don’t have superpowers…It’s a stroller! Am I right?

Meanwhile my younger cousin is prancing about the yard with her fiance, all a glow in her little sundress with her ring sparkling in the sun. I looked up into the sky and secretly cried help but wine did not suddenly pour out from the clouds and into a large pitcher.

My sister and cousin talked with the moms aunties and grandmas, almost in the fashion of a huddle if that helps you with imagery, to plan their upcoming showers. It’s a moment like in the movies where all these ladies in the same family are sitting around in a circle and laughing and smiling, and I did want to be a part of the circle because of the obvious merriment. However I knew if I went over there they’d be talking about shower dates, changing tables, matching the flowers with the linens and the bridesmaids dresses. So I stayed at the table with the boys who were all focused on distracting one another so they could pour ice down each others shirts.

My sister will be having her baby shower here soon. I want to suggest that she bring her stroller and then load it up with all the baby gifts she receives at the shower to you know, see how it handles the load while taking corners.

The bridal shower for my cousin wont be for a couple of months, so I have some time to buy a really cute sundress somewhere and then also find a reason to be super happy so I can look half as enchanted with life as she does. So drunk then, I’ll probably be drunk.

Maybe I’ll go buy a stroller tonight so I can cart around my bottles of wine to all these showers…..

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