Tag Archives: Valentine’s Day

rejection & the internet: thanks craigslist.

I have no shame and no pride and will tell you forthright that I’ve been looking on Craigslist for a room to rent.

I honestly find this better then the alternative which is scanning facebook and sending messages to people who might still be single.

Also I had this fear simmering inside me, that my mother was going to start asking around at church and find some complete weirdo single girl who also is looking for a roommate, and who has probably never drank alcohol and may even think that twerking is something that only strippers do.

I’d rather take my chances with an alcoholic stripper thank you very much.

My actual adventure with Craigslist starts with Helen.

Helen and I hit it off great, her being just a few years older, with a lovely and affordable room to rent plus she worked the bar scene, and thought me hilarious.

I could not wait to move in with her. Great room, plenty of booze and not to mention, uh friendship? Could use some of that. I think I’m overwhelming my coworkers with, well myself.

Helen was so great in fact that when her and I planned to move in, I did not even respond to that Craigslist ad that a guy named Kevin put up about his room for rent, fully displaying a picture of him in his trendy plaid shirt, engaging grin, and his friendly chocolate lab. I put Kevin’s adorable face and adorable pet out of my mind and clicked out of his ad, because I was so devoted to my roommate-to-be, Helen.

I even planned on spending Valentines Day with her! Let me be clear before this goes too far, I had planned to move into our apartment Valentines Day night and then we were going to hang out when she got off of work.

Sadly, Feb 13th at 10:40pm Helen texted me that she had received a move out notice, due to her roommate that was moving out, causing quite a ruckus.

It appeared as if Helen and I were doomed and I began that night looking for rooms. A room I had originally wanted was posted again due to their prospect falling through, I was all a gaze at the possibility of living with several very fun and appealing people, but they did not respond.

On Valentines Day my coworkers and people passing me on the streets and people driving in their cars, were pealed to their phones, and I was no different. Others awaited texts from their lovers, I awaited text messages from strangers. Most looked forward to their evening ending in some much needed sex and cuddling, I awaited the opportunity to peak into my hopeful bedroom and talk about the cable bill, maybe even discuss showering schedules if lucky.

But I got no hits on Valentines day, no texts and no emails about being someones new roommate. I had the night off from work due to my plans to move in with Helen. I ended up buying a six pack of beer and a pizza, and consumed both while sitting in my car, parked in a dark lot, near a yogurt shop.

It’s not that my friends and family hate me and threw me out of their homes and wouldn’t let me share their romantic evenings, I just didn’t feel like invading in on anyone’s privacy and intimate moments when honestly I can drink beer and eat pizza anywhere.

I did end up getting tipsy, and in case anyone saw this coming, yes I did text Helen.

Asking her if she still wanted to find a place, a new place, together? She responded but didn’t. Really she just rambled on for a paragraph saying she didn’t know where she was going to go from here.

As I got more tipsy, I spoke to my beer while I held it in my hand and asked “Did I just get dumped by someone on Craigslist?”

I mean sure it wasn’t a romantic relationship, but I had hoped to live with her and be friends with her and tell funny stories over a glass of wine or come home to tell her about my crushes or my boss being a jerk, maybe we’d even despise the children in our apartment complex together and talk about the ones we hated the most.

But all is not lost my dear readers, for I have met another possibility through Craigslist-the place where all hope of finding friends is lost and you extend your reach to strangers-and his name is Hunter. Hunter lives with three other guys, all one year younger then me.

Helen who? Hello Hunter & Friends!

I could tell Hunter was hilarious just from the posts he put up. So today when he said “tell me about yourself” I didn’t want to disappoint.

me: “Well I love Chipotle. I love Chipotle so much that I’m standing in line for it currently and I’d stand in line for it forever. The same goes with Drake. I would also stand in a line forever, for Drake.”

me: “I don’t watch much on cable because um hello, Hulu! I secretly want to take a hip hop class.”

me: “I love beer. Beer and wine. I’m not messy, mostly.”

Hunter said “lol” a total of three times. This is a good sign right?

It’s funny how my love life and my trying to find a roommate life look more and more similar….

well of course I have to write about Valentine’s Day

You are all going to be shocked, and probably a few of you dismayed but…

I like Valentine’s Day.

Twenty four years, never one date on Valentine’s Day. EVER. Not once. Zero.

But despite lack of ever having a Valentine on the day that it is important to have one, I still genuinely enjoy the holiday for the most part, as well as I have never been bothered at the fact that it’s a consumer holiday blah blah blah feminism blah blah blah…

I do not care a bit that the cards are obnoxious and people wear red and I didn’t get flowers sent to my work. Really the only sad part about the day is seeing couples together and then wishing you had someone to peck on the cheek after he buys you a white mocha.

Being single for twenty four years has never taught me to hate this holiday. Usually friends or family feel a tingy bit bad for me and there are presents to be had! My roommates last year made me hand made cards and my parents sent me a card in the mail with money in it (winning) as well as all the candy that just appears effortlessly everywhere and is mine for the taking, because who is going to tell the single girl that she cant have more chocolate?

Answer: NO ONE.

Also Valentine’s day is a perfectly acceptable day to get drunk. Other days people judge you. Like shit isn’t it Wednesday? Why are you wasted? Oh my gosh “Wasted Wednesdays” how have I never thought of that before…

Anyways so on Valentine’s day you can simply come home from work and get begin drinking around four or five pm, basically it isn’t even evening yet. Instead of the stingy looks from family and roommates shaking their heads with shame you get sympathetic stares and kindly eyes, maybe your brother who has been in a relationship for three years or your roommate with too many dates a week to count will thoughtfully go buy more booze for you before they head out to their romantic dinners.

They’ll even say “No no dear, you don’t need to pay me back, this bottle of vodka is on me okay? You just stay inside and relax.” They know you going out is the worst idea possible. Out alone roaming the streets while happy couples prance about. Better to get the single chick as boozy as possible in the house or apartment and hope she passes out without drunk dialing anyone.

So to sum up so far, we have the guilt of friends and family to supply you with cards, candy, and booze. Not too shabby so far.

And in all honesty, for all you couples out there, buy each other shit tons of gifts and ridiculousness. Why not? It’s a day out of our incredibly busy lives where we remember, oh yeah I’m with someone! It can be easy to forget that you’re lucky to have this person who sticks by your side when you get colds and you blow your nose a bazillion times and you look not even half as good as those pictures of celebrities outside with sweats and no makeup on. There is nothing wrong with a holiday that reminds you to think of someone other than yourself, and that also props you go buy dumb corny cards for someone that you don’t say I Love You to as often as you should.

Even if Hallmark had created this entire holiday for profit I still wouldn’t care. Even if there was no background story of a saint who performed secret marriages, or no cupid to fly around and shoot at people (with arrows), or even if the person who created the holiday in its entirety was in love with his dog I would not care. I would still go buy a goofy card, plant a sloppy kiss on my boyfriends mouth and tell him how happy he makes me.

So for all you V-DAY haters, here is a slightly different perspective from someone chronically single who will probably wake up February 15th delirious and hungover with chocolate smeared on her face and Pride and Prejudice in the dvd player, and still NOT blaming the day that gave me the excuse to do it all.