Tag Archives: Valentine

well of course I have to write about Valentine’s Day

You are all going to be shocked, and probably a few of you dismayed but…

I like Valentine’s Day.

Twenty four years, never one date on Valentine’s Day. EVER. Not once. Zero.

But despite lack of ever having a Valentine on the day that it is important to have one, I still genuinely enjoy the holiday for the most part, as well as I have never been bothered at the fact that it’s a consumer holiday blah blah blah feminism blah blah blah…

I do not care a bit that the cards are obnoxious and people wear red and I didn’t get flowers sent to my work. Really the only sad part about the day is seeing couples together and then wishing you had someone to peck on the cheek after he buys you a white mocha.

Being single for twenty four years has never taught me to hate this holiday. Usually friends or family feel a tingy bit bad for me and there are presents to be had! My roommates last year made me hand made cards and my parents sent me a card in the mail with money in it (winning) as well as all the candy that just appears effortlessly everywhere and is mine for the taking, because who is going to tell the single girl that she cant have more chocolate?

Answer: NO ONE.

Also Valentine’s day is a perfectly acceptable day to get drunk. Other days people judge you. Like shit isn’t it Wednesday? Why are you wasted? Oh my gosh “Wasted Wednesdays” how have I never thought of that before…

Anyways so on Valentine’s day you can simply come home from work and get begin drinking around four or five pm, basically it isn’t even evening yet. Instead of the stingy looks from family and roommates shaking their heads with shame you get sympathetic stares and kindly eyes, maybe your brother who has been in a relationship for three years or your roommate with too many dates a week to count will thoughtfully go buy more booze for you before they head out to their romantic dinners.

They’ll even say “No no dear, you don’t need to pay me back, this bottle of vodka is on me okay? You just stay inside and relax.” They know you going out is the worst idea possible. Out alone roaming the streets while happy couples prance about. Better to get the single chick as boozy as possible in the house or apartment and hope she passes out without drunk dialing anyone.

So to sum up so far, we have the guilt of friends and family to supply you with cards, candy, and booze. Not too shabby so far.

And in all honesty, for all you couples out there, buy each other shit tons of gifts and ridiculousness. Why not? It’s a day out of our incredibly busy lives where we remember, oh yeah I’m with someone! It can be easy to forget that you’re lucky to have this person who sticks by your side when you get colds and you blow your nose a bazillion times and you look not even half as good as those pictures of celebrities outside with sweats and no makeup on. There is nothing wrong with a holiday that reminds you to think of someone other than yourself, and that also props you go buy dumb corny cards for someone that you don’t say I Love You to as often as you should.

Even if Hallmark had created this entire holiday for profit I still wouldn’t care. Even if there was no background story of a saint who performed secret marriages, or no cupid to fly around and shoot at people (with arrows), or even if the person who created the holiday in its entirety was in love with his dog I would not care. I would still go buy a goofy card, plant a sloppy kiss on my boyfriends mouth and tell him how happy he makes me.

So for all you V-DAY haters, here is a slightly different perspective from someone chronically single who will probably wake up February 15th delirious and hungover with chocolate smeared on her face and Pride and Prejudice in the dvd player, and still NOT blaming the day that gave me the excuse to do it all.