Tag Archives: strangers

rejection & the internet: thanks craigslist.

I have no shame and no pride and will tell you forthright that I’ve been looking on Craigslist for a room to rent.

I honestly find this better then the alternative which is scanning facebook and sending messages to people who might still be single.

Also I had this fear simmering inside me, that my mother was going to start asking around at church and find some complete weirdo single girl who also is looking for a roommate, and who has probably never drank alcohol and may even think that twerking is something that only strippers do.

I’d rather take my chances with an alcoholic stripper thank you very much.

My actual adventure with Craigslist starts with Helen.

Helen and I hit it off great, her being just a few years older, with a lovely and affordable room to rent plus she worked the bar scene, and thought me hilarious.

I could not wait to move in with her. Great room, plenty of booze and not to mention, uh friendship? Could use some of that. I think I’m overwhelming my coworkers with, well myself.

Helen was so great in fact that when her and I planned to move in, I did not even respond to that Craigslist ad that a guy named Kevin put up about his room for rent, fully displaying a picture of him in his trendy plaid shirt, engaging grin, and his friendly chocolate lab. I put Kevin’s adorable face and adorable pet out of my mind and clicked out of his ad, because I was so devoted to my roommate-to-be, Helen.

I even planned on spending Valentines Day with her! Let me be clear before this goes too far, I had planned to move into our apartment Valentines Day night and then we were going to hang out when she got off of work.

Sadly, Feb 13th at 10:40pm Helen texted me that she had received a move out notice, due to her roommate that was moving out, causing quite a ruckus.

It appeared as if Helen and I were doomed and I began that night looking for rooms. A room I had originally wanted was posted again due to their prospect falling through, I was all a gaze at the possibility of living with several very fun and appealing people, but they did not respond.

On Valentines Day my coworkers and people passing me on the streets and people driving in their cars, were pealed to their phones, and I was no different. Others awaited texts from their lovers, I awaited text messages from strangers. Most looked forward to their evening ending in some much needed sex and cuddling, I awaited the opportunity to peak into my hopeful bedroom and talk about the cable bill, maybe even discuss showering schedules if lucky.

But I got no hits on Valentines day, no texts and no emails about being someones new roommate. I had the night off from work due to my plans to move in with Helen. I ended up buying a six pack of beer and a pizza, and consumed both while sitting in my car, parked in a dark lot, near a yogurt shop.

It’s not that my friends and family hate me and threw me out of their homes and wouldn’t let me share their romantic evenings, I just didn’t feel like invading in on anyone’s privacy and intimate moments when honestly I can drink beer and eat pizza anywhere.

I did end up getting tipsy, and in case anyone saw this coming, yes I did text Helen.

Asking her if she still wanted to find a place, a new place, together? She responded but didn’t. Really she just rambled on for a paragraph saying she didn’t know where she was going to go from here.

As I got more tipsy, I spoke to my beer while I held it in my hand and asked “Did I just get dumped by someone on Craigslist?”

I mean sure it wasn’t a romantic relationship, but I had hoped to live with her and be friends with her and tell funny stories over a glass of wine or come home to tell her about my crushes or my boss being a jerk, maybe we’d even despise the children in our apartment complex together and talk about the ones we hated the most.

But all is not lost my dear readers, for I have met another possibility through Craigslist-the place where all hope of finding friends is lost and you extend your reach to strangers-and his name is Hunter. Hunter lives with three other guys, all one year younger then me.

Helen who? Hello Hunter & Friends!

I could tell Hunter was hilarious just from the posts he put up. So today when he said “tell me about yourself” I didn’t want to disappoint.

me: “Well I love Chipotle. I love Chipotle so much that I’m standing in line for it currently and I’d stand in line for it forever. The same goes with Drake. I would also stand in a line forever, for Drake.”

me: “I don’t watch much on cable because um hello, Hulu! I secretly want to take a hip hop class.”

me: “I love beer. Beer and wine. I’m not messy, mostly.”

Hunter said “lol” a total of three times. This is a good sign right?

It’s funny how my love life and my trying to find a roommate life look more and more similar….

incorrect expectations

Real talk: I don’t know how to keep this blog up with my lack of life. Luckily I had a bridal shower and two parties to attend all in one day, so there actually is something to share! Miracle.

We will start with the parties. Both of them were goodbye parties for either friends or coworkers and at both of them I came to realize that hey I don’t know these people.

And when you don’t know people in a group very well, not only will your beer not save you from forced small talk but it also won’t save you from the hardcore clinging to the two people that you do know.

At party Numero Uno, I assumed it would be wildly fun, but my two people became occupied and things got awkward quick.

Tried asking a coworkers boyfriend about the bar that he runs and when that went south I appealed to the vanity of a woman and complimented the girls hair next to me, which did go somewhere, but it left me without words to use because she had taken all of them and left me with nodding. Hey bro, lets go back to those one word answers about your bar that I’ll never take a step inside of.

Party Numero Duce..(?)… (spanish class was a long time ago), this party had the potential to have a lot of drunken people and a lot of laughs and it did amuse me on both of those counts for quite awhile.

One of my two people at this one was hammered. I mean like singing out loud in the middle of a bar, occasionally lying down on the table, and every so often telling someone FUCK YOU, with no rationale. Brilliant drunk.

Unfortunately, early in the night I had gotten very hung up on my crush being there and his not making eye contact with me. He was glued to his phone or the tv most of the night, and somewhere in that behavior I decided he loathed me.

At one point I was smushed between two different couples and almost got up to stand next to him, despite the general dislike I assumed he had for me, just to have someone to stand there with, and we could both be glued to our phones, at least together? Instead I decided to stay planted in between the couples, trying to be as small as a Chinese gymnast, and text whoever was willing.

It was when it got so bad that people in the group sitting around me had pointedly started a conversation that clearly did not need my input, is when I begged a friend to call me so I could have a reason to go outside and take this ever so important call, and this is when I realized I had lost our drunk friend.

I found him outside minutes later, standing on a curb, and looking out into the parking lot. I wanted nothing more then to plop down on that same curb and stare at whatever he was staring at, and not have to make one any more unsuccessful efforts to converse with others.

The funniest thing about yesterday was that I had thought that those two parties would be the best part of the day and that the bridal shower that afternoon would be that part of the day I’d be praying for to be over as quickly as possible.

The bridal shower, being at a church, and also being a bridal shower, I didn’t have my hopes set high, but was in fact a wonderful three hours.

Sitting at a table with my mother, aunt, mother of that aunt, and a cousins girlfriend, our dry wit and overall immaturity gave each of us away to inappropriate fits of laughter from beginning to end. Also the maid of honor who is my cousin, was running the show and quite hilariously I may add. She obviously had the upcoming Bachlorette party on her brain because she never ceased to make jokes about how she’d be hammered later and to quiet us down would say “ladies, ladies, off the tables. were in a church.”

The games she planned were even fun and our table even got bizarrely competitive and began cheating early on. When we weren’t cracking jokes, the maid of honor was acting as our own stand up comedian and had the whole room going.

I shake my head even now at how odd or maybe even stupid it was for me to be so sure that I would have gobs of fun at these random parties with random people, but yet not be as entertained with the amazing women of my own family!!

The women of my family are intelligent and fun loving and deeply sarcastic, from aunts to cousins to grandmothers, and I don’t know how I ever came to doubt having a good time at this shower.

I guess at some point in your life you need to take a step back from the bars (hooold on what is she talking about) and the strangers (omg is she saying this) and look at who has been around your whole life, and who is ready to jump up and be your friend when you’re own are scarce.

Shit just got deep. Hope everyone enjoyed the Grammys!