rejection & the internet: thanks craigslist.

I have no shame and no pride and will tell you forthright that I’ve been looking on Craigslist for a room to rent.

I honestly find this better then the alternative which is scanning facebook and sending messages to people who might still be single.

Also I had this fear simmering inside me, that my mother was going to start asking around at church and find some complete weirdo single girl who also is looking for a roommate, and who has probably never drank alcohol and may even think that twerking is something that only strippers do.

I’d rather take my chances with an alcoholic stripper thank you very much.

My actual adventure with Craigslist starts with Helen.

Helen and I hit it off great, her being just a few years older, with a lovely and affordable room to rent plus she worked the bar scene, and thought me hilarious.

I could not wait to move in with her. Great room, plenty of booze and not to mention, uh friendship? Could use some of that. I think I’m overwhelming my coworkers with, well myself.

Helen was so great in fact that when her and I planned to move in, I did not even respond to that Craigslist ad that a guy named Kevin put up about his room for rent, fully displaying a picture of him in his trendy plaid shirt, engaging grin, and his friendly chocolate lab. I put Kevin’s adorable face and adorable pet out of my mind and clicked out of his ad, because I was so devoted to my roommate-to-be, Helen.

I even planned on spending Valentines Day with her! Let me be clear before this goes too far, I had planned to move into our apartment Valentines Day night and then we were going to hang out when she got off of work.

Sadly, Feb 13th at 10:40pm Helen texted me that she had received a move out notice, due to her roommate that was moving out, causing quite a ruckus.

It appeared as if Helen and I were doomed and I began that night looking for rooms. A room I had originally wanted was posted again due to their prospect falling through, I was all a gaze at the possibility of living with several very fun and appealing people, but they did not respond.

On Valentines Day my coworkers and people passing me on the streets and people driving in their cars, were pealed to their phones, and I was no different. Others awaited texts from their lovers, I awaited text messages from strangers. Most looked forward to their evening ending in some much needed sex and cuddling, I awaited the opportunity to peak into my hopeful bedroom and talk about the cable bill, maybe even discuss showering schedules if lucky.

But I got no hits on Valentines day, no texts and no emails about being someones new roommate. I had the night off from work due to my plans to move in with Helen. I ended up buying a six pack of beer and a pizza, and consumed both while sitting in my car, parked in a dark lot, near a yogurt shop.

It’s not that my friends and family hate me and threw me out of their homes and wouldn’t let me share their romantic evenings, I just didn’t feel like invading in on anyone’s privacy and intimate moments when honestly I can drink beer and eat pizza anywhere.

I did end up getting tipsy, and in case anyone saw this coming, yes I did text Helen.

Asking her if she still wanted to find a place, a new place, together? She responded but didn’t. Really she just rambled on for a paragraph saying she didn’t know where she was going to go from here.

As I got more tipsy, I spoke to my beer while I held it in my hand and asked “Did I just get dumped by someone on Craigslist?”

I mean sure it wasn’t a romantic relationship, but I had hoped to live with her and be friends with her and tell funny stories over a glass of wine or come home to tell her about my crushes or my boss being a jerk, maybe we’d even despise the children in our apartment complex together and talk about the ones we hated the most.

But all is not lost my dear readers, for I have met another possibility through Craigslist-the place where all hope of finding friends is lost and you extend your reach to strangers-and his name is Hunter. Hunter lives with three other guys, all one year younger then me.

Helen who? Hello Hunter & Friends!

I could tell Hunter was hilarious just from the posts he put up. So today when he said “tell me about yourself” I didn’t want to disappoint.

me: “Well I love Chipotle. I love Chipotle so much that I’m standing in line for it currently and I’d stand in line for it forever. The same goes with Drake. I would also stand in a line forever, for Drake.”

me: “I don’t watch much on cable because um hello, Hulu! I secretly want to take a hip hop class.”

me: “I love beer. Beer and wine. I’m not messy, mostly.”

Hunter said “lol” a total of three times. This is a good sign right?

It’s funny how my love life and my trying to find a roommate life look more and more similar….

ben, beer, and interviews

Two interviews in about a weeks time, both vastly different from one another.

The first one being hardly a interview at all and instead like a meeting. Like with a client. I’m the client.

Don’t get me wrong, its beautiful and wonderful that someone found my sad little post grad resume online and decided to offer out a branch of assistance. Especially since this unemployed twenty five year old recently saw a pop up ad for “donating your eggs, giving the gift of hope” and wondered how much that would actually pay. Are we talking like one thousand dollars for one egg?

Ths branch of assistance that found me actually goes by the name of Ben, and he is a staffing agent who called me up to ask questions about my poor pathetic resume, to see if I’d want to meet up and discuss job opportunities.

How about um, hell yes.

What’s the first thing I do to Ben? Cancel on him. Sis goes into labor and I find myself in the car on the way to LA to play the role of most helpful Auntie. Second thing I do to Ben is cancel on him again, as I hold a colicky infant of about seven days of being in the world. Kevin and I discuss the weather over the cries of my nephew, and set up another date to meet.

Could not find that mother fucking building to save my life. Barely made it to the appointment on time but it was worth all the struggle.

Ladies and gentlemen Ben the staffing agent is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.

So sweet, so cute, hair parted in the middle, plaid shirt and khakis, and super interested in me (he has to be in order to find out where I would best be placed).

Not only is he so fucking cute but he is so insistent that he IS going to find me work. Like….are you for real? I’m not even paying you.

Also if you fail to get me a job, could we date instead? I hear it’s just like a job, but a really really good one 😉

oh yeah. you can see I get all the men folk.

Guys, this interview-meeting has been my main male interaction since getting blown off by great weekend guy and finding out that guy from the gym has a serious girlfriend.

I had considered making delicious and refreshing Newcastle my new boyfriend (especially if he’s on tap, then I’m willing to get serious) before good ol’ Ben came along. Good job on my part huh? Desperately putting my resume out online like that? Hats off to me for I am a fair and sensible lady.

Oh yes so the other interview! Well that was today. It was at the pizza parlor down the street….minimum wage….beer on tap…. it certainly has potential!

Is it weird that I’m excited to work there? I do enjoyeth my beer….

We shall see how it all turns out. In the meantime I will look forward to calls from Ben about my future (our future? yes please) and just have to drink beer from the bottle.