Tag Archives: barbeques

Two Nights

For some of us single folks, we can have drastically different groups of friends and within each set we can take on very different roles. This can make separate nights bizarrely different from one another.

Last week I had two nights so drastically different from one another it’s comical.On Wednesday night my roommate and I hit the local bars for a bonding night and on Saturday night I attended my married friends barbeque.

Wednesday, when my roomie (yes, the stripper) and I sat down at the bar we had shots within the minute and before I could even pay for my beer there was a second provided to me. My roomie and I learned within the first few minutes there that she loves fireball and I love tequila and how throwing limes can become a fun game.

Saturday at the barbeque I made my best efforts not to open up the wine immediately. The game of pretending that you’re not impatiently waiting for that bottle to get uncorked is long and tiresome. Going through the motions of small talk and making kindly remarks about new pieces of furniture in the house, it’s almost like you have to earn that first glass of wine.

Back at the bar, older men sitting down a ways are buying my roommate more shots, while the bartender is pouring her more drinks, while I start to wonder where the hip hop music is because they advertise Wednesday nights as Hip Hop Night. Are they playing Jewel? This will not do, bring Drake out.

Back at the barbeque we are all talking about different car accidents we’ve recently been in. Different insurance policies cover different things, and your deductible sounds high! Who is your provider?

At the bar I have now become the DJ. I’m now playing all the hip hop music you could ever dream of because the bartender who was supposed to DJ is too busy hitting on and pouring drinks for my roommate, and has decided to let me do whatever I want because I’m her roommate. It’s all about who you know right?

Still on the subject of cars back at the home of the married folks, the wife is explaining to us how the husband got a red car, but red was not on her list of approved colors. The colors she would accept were black, white, grey, or blue. However the wife explained to us that the color is growing on her and we all did our best to compliment what a nice red it is.

The people at the bar are really responding to my song choices. Or maybe I’m just assuming they do since I’m having such a good time dropping it low while holding onto my bar stool for support. I’m trying to ask my roommate what my DJ name should be but she is too busy confessing to the girls sitting near us, that yes she works at a strip club.

We’ve begun eating back at the house and we all rant and rave about how the beef is cooked to perfection. Not too much pink, but just enough.Very juicy! Added just the right amount of sauce. The grilled veggies are also just delightful and it’s apparently a favorite side of theirs to make and there are not too many ingredients involved.

Cut to me now twerking on the bar.

The wife is now getting rather tipsy off her two glasses of wine and we’ve spent far too much time discussing how screwed up the school district is.

It is now nearing midnight back at the bar and I definitely have work in the morning. My roomie is just obliterated with free drinks while I have finally sobered up.

Several glasses deep back at the barbeque and it’s just getting good because my friend and I are doing some mild story telling for the entertainment of the married folks. Unfortunately the tipsy wife is beginning to look really sleepy.

At the bar I try to get my roommate to leave with me. We had said we’d just go out for an hour and now it’s two and a half hours later, but she doesn’t see my logic. She grabs the bartender and gives him a big hug while informing me that this is who she is getting a ride home with. I look at the bartender knowing that he is pretty proud/surprised that he managed to pull this off.

At the house I’m coming up with excuses to leave so wifey doesn’t pass out while were still there. As I’m departing, the married couple chats with us for a bit about getting a dog. What are the advantages of a big dog compared to a small one? Aren’t labs the best?

I had left the bar and was cozily sleeping at 2am when my roommate came home. When I heard her come in I thought about what a fun night we had bonding over drinks and dancing to 2Chainz, and that was when I heard the sure and not so subtle sounds of my roomie bonding with the bartender on our couch.

I mean how different are these nights? One ending in debate over Labradors and Retrievers and the other in debate over whether to do it on the counter next.

When you’re telling one party about the night you end up tweaking it just a tad. Telling my married friends on Saturday about going out with my roomie that wednesday, I mentioned nothing about shots, or DJing, or bartenders coming back to our place, but I did mention how I thought it was cool that the bar had Newcastle on tap.

Same deal when I came home from the barbeque. I can’t tell my wild stripper roommate that we sat around and talked about insurance policies, so I lead her to believe that we went through certainly more than two bottles of wine at this barbeque and that the conversations about car accidents were way more interesting.

I prefer to think of this not as lying but protecting others from truths they cant handle. You’re welcome?

at least im trying….

is my theme for the events of this weekend. It is Sunday night and although I ultimately failed this weekend, at least attempts were made!

Apparently “making eyes” at male acquaintances across the backyard at your coworkers barbeque is not the way to get them to come over and talk to you. I suppose glances in their direction are also not welcome and probably amount to the same as the “making eyes” which in my dealings gets you more ignored than anything else. In my mind I saw the attention I was giving this male acquaintance, as well as the alcohol we had consumed, a sure fire way to go home having given someone my phone number. I suppose he left the barbeque in somewhat of a haste due to most of us having no knowledge of his departure. Did I look at him three different times or was it four? Hopefully his dog was just sick instead himself, from being stared at across a barbeque pit by one of the two single females present.

How sad you must think, but wait.

After the barbeque I met up with my brother and his friend for drinks. As my brother and I caught up the friend inserted himself into conversation every once in a great while but seemed perfectly amiable and nice. Upon asking him questions and talking to him more he appeared slightly unsocialable which I took to be shyness. Aww, how sweet. However his shyness quickly disappeared upon the three of us arriving at my apartment, in which he talked candidly and animatedly with my darling and much younger roommate until her and I scuttled off to bed. I believe, though may have blocked out, a possible pity hug the next morning as him and my brother took back for home.

The real kicker was about three hours ago. A boy I have seen around downtown happened to be online at the same time I was and I took this opportunity to chat with him. Did I say “Hello” or “how are you?” not quite. I actually made up some story about how I thought I had seen him a couple of nights back in my apartment complex and if that had been him. When he didn’t respond back for quite awhile I panicked and said something else. Finally he responded and eventually asked how I was. What followed was a horrible one sided conversation that I may erase from my facebook forever. I went onto ask him questions and received very short answers in return. This went on for awhile until I realized that he had not asked me a thing besides the initial how are you, and had gone on to give me the bare minimum of conversation possible.
So called sentences such as “yeah it’s good”, “it was”, and “definitely” were used and unfortunately I realized it a little too late to be able to play it cool. It seemed quite the opposite actually. Finally upon his last sentence that read, and I’m not kidding you, “it’s fun and all that stuff” I said nothing. And neither did he.

I stayed online for another hour, pretending that I was not staring at the screen and waiting for him to come up with something else to talk about.

Now for those of you out there that this may appear sad and pathetic to believe me that you’re right. It so is! But you have to laugh at it a little bit. When I went back read the whole facebook conversation I even had to say to myself dang girl, come on. Why did you keep writing?
I mean he answered a question with this: “Definitely.” I mean really, wake up and smell the stale keyboard girl, he ain’t typin.