Wait…so you don’t want to get drunk off cheap wine and talk about how hot the guys are on random game shows?… I don’t understand.
Oh married friends, I’m starting to sense the parting of our ways.
Is it time to let them go? Or maybe I need to get my shit together?…nah, the time thing.
Left my to-be-married-in-like-three-months friends house just a couple moments ago and said to myself wow I think they barely survived that, and by that I mean hanging out with my single friend and I who basically dropped F bombs left and right (mostly me), drank wine out of the bottle (mostly her), reenacted the night my parents called me an alcoholic (all me), and discussed the hot or not people on TV (both of us).
I didn’t mean to overwhelm this happily engaged pair,but I guess it had just been awhile since they had hung out with the two of us at the same time, while we consumed alcohol.
What triggered this spontaneous hangout in the first place was my best friends wedding this weekend. The almost married couple attended and caught up with my friend and I, and then texted us to hang out two days later.
Maybe they forgot what we are like or perhaps thought we had matured. It’s possible that they do not even realize that they have in fact changed and act one hundred percent married. They’re so believable that I even wondered if they had cheated and read their vows to one another. Maybe one of them had their mom go online and become sanctioned (is that even what it’s called?) and she officiated (is that right either?) them as man and wife right there in the kitchen.
I’m really not sure what they were expecting when inviting us over. I’m still single and now unemployed, did you think I’d be LESS drunk?
I would like to believe that the two of them just outgrew me, and it’s not that I’ve become any less hilarious. Or maybe the ways in which I used to be outrageously funny are now ridiculous to them due to their more sedentary,and well lets face it, boring lifestyles.
I suppose filling my wine glass to the brim and loudly telling stories using wild hand motions doesn’t make me anyone’s ideal guest but doesn’t my cynicism, foul language, sexual innuendos, and overall inappropriate behavior make me a form of entertainment, if you will?
Perhaps I used to be, but at this stage in this soon to be wed couples life maybe they are looking for a source of entertainment a tad more sophisticated than what I can bring to the table.
Hats off to them for wanting to grow up a little. Maybe I’ll find new friends in the section where they sell that ridiculous cheap wine I keep purchasing.
Today I was asked to be in my fourth wedding and the girl who asked me said “I knew you’d be fun”
This girl knows what she’s talking about. Yes, I’ll be in your wedding.
She threw in some other stuff about how she loves me, I’m her favorite co-worker and how I have a great personality, you know the normal stuff that of course I’ve already come to think because lets face it I’ve been single for so long that my thoughts are constantly veering off in a conceited and selfish fashion. Oh you want me in your wedding? Who doesn’t.
So anyways I said yes and I’m actually rather excited about it because apparently the wedding is going to be a traditional Cambodian wedding and the reception is going to be American and in all honesty I’m fairly confused about when I’m wearing what and where but it all sounds like fun and hey I’m single with nothing better to do so lets have two weddings and four receptions and six tea ceremonies ending with a real long boat ride. Given that there will be drinking at each event of course.
Just a side note, though I never went and set up a blog post officially about it, I was recently in Singapore for a wedding so I feel that this Cambodian wedding (which will be in the U.S.,go figure) is just adding more to this pallet of culture I’m accumulating by agreeing to stand next to other people standing, while other people exchange rings. It’s genius really.
I was also told I will be wearing a traditional Cambodian dress for this wedding and I’m intensely curious as to how I’m going to look in it, that is actually the part I think about the most. Well that and how fun I am.
not even two days after I travel halfway across the world to be in a wedding, I find myself sifting through tool and lace in the changing room of a Davids Bridal.
You’d think people could take a week off from getting married but no they gave me two days.
However I enjoy being the helpfulness that is putting these white monstrosities onto my best friend while running to get her train before she trips. I feel immensely kind and involved and I get to see the excited looks of my best friend as well as get to witness the squeal that erupts from her when she finds one that she likes.
However, it’s beginning to dawn on me, and I don’t know why I never realized it before, but I don’t like wedding dresses.
Like sure maybe if I put one on and really stood there for awhile it would look becoming or something but honestly I do not understand the appeal. I do not like strapless dresses which is the only way to buy a wedding gown these days and I do not like covering my legs, they’re my only asset! Why does the lace and the tool and the train of the dress get all the attention and not my legs?
Even the colors…so white! Most of the dresses look like such a starchy bright white I find myself trying to not look directly at them. Can off-white dresses be in now?
I feel the need to mention the whole bodice thing as well. So getting married automatically transports us into the 1800’s when we have to smash our stomachs into corsets and then pictures are taken of our mother and sister tying you into it without mercy. Glamorous.
I don’t understand the wedding dress appeal and I’m not sure I want to.
Can my dress be peach?