Lets just talk about this whole notion of “nice guys” and “nice guys finish last.”
I wanna get this nonsense out on the table.
There are probably nice guys out there who DO have personalities and are great people and legitimately get put on the back burner by girls for no reason, but I’m going to share with you that that is by no means the norm.
The quote on quote “nice guy” is usually about as interesting as a place mat and we don’t even feel guilty about dumping him.
We sit there and try, mentally try to feel bad for dumping him but it’s too hard to think about him when you’re thinking about the Chinese food you want to pick up on the way home.
We dump them because it’s too easy.
They desire to match our every need and in consequence no conflicts exist except for god damn, do you have any sort of life?
After you dump one of these “nice guys” you fail to remember it for the remainder of your day. A friend will text and say, “How’d it go?” you’ll think, “How did what go- oh that!”
How do you miss someone with no personality? It’s like missing a shirt, a scone, a rock.
What you wind up missing the next day or later on that week are the back massages and having someone to talk to for hours on end about where your career is going, without interruption. You miss having someone who would skip a family birthday party to pick you up from a hair appointment.
It is a guaranteed fact that it is harder to break up with our douche bag boyfriends, then it is to break up with you “nice guys.” Even though those ex-boyfriends were dicks, they had personality! They had opinions (even if they were dumb ones) they had passion (even though it was about fantasy baseball) they had weaknesses and strengths and individual preferences and goals.
Let me tell you it is a struggle to daydream about someone who lacks a personality. I probably have more thought processes about purchasing new doorknobs in my home. Should I get a rustic trim with brass? Should it match my banister? Would plain white chic go with more things? A girl can get lost in this.
Now it appears that I’m doing a lot of unnecessary bashing on you guys but I’m being purposeful and honest because I believe no matter your age, you have the opportunity to change.
If you characterize yourself as one of those “nice guys” that gets walked on, there is still time for you to develop a passion for something and do a little self discovery.
Don’t put your pursuits aside for a bitch! Own what you think and who you are. Also, try not to be so petrified of being a dick, we expect it at least every once in awhile.
If you’re afraid of any and all confrontation, realize that relationships with zero conflict are zero interesting. If you fail to speak up about things that you hate doing she will just find out when you passive aggressively start hinting that everything she loves in this world is stupid.
Maybe someone told you nice guys when you were growing up, to lay down your life for a woman. Maybe that’s really sweet and I just fail to see past how unhealthy that appears, but how about maybe get to know her first? Before you decide so readily that you’re going to spend your whole existence in pursuit of fulfilling her every desire?
If you’re going to be that guy in the relationship who stoops down in the parking lot to tie a girls shoelaces, make sure it’s the right girl? Perhaps a serious girlfriend and not a girl who you’ve been on a 45 minute lunch date with.
Just remember that those dick boyfriends of ours that we go back to after we dump you, we go back because there is someone to miss! Give us someone to miss.