Received a notification today that it is indeed my one year anniversary with this blog and with wordpress in general, Whoopie!
I thought it might be time to share why I chose the title “becauseimsingle” as well as explain how it ties in perfectly with the thing I was signing into wordpress to rant about today.
If you have ever seen the movie I Love You Man, it’s hilarious. The lead female role is recently engaged and she has two friends, one who is married and the other who is single.
At one point in the movie the three girls are talking and the married friend says to the single friend “why is everything always about you?” and she responds “because I’m single.”
And TADA! A sarcastic and booze filled blog was born.
I just loved that line for some unexplainable reason. Maybe because it’s so dramatic? so bitchy? So selfish and proud of it? No clue but it stuck with me.
So anyways how this ties in with my rant today, basically married and pregnant people everywhere are asking me to do things I don’t want to do.
Everyone keeps telling me “well it’s about them, it’s their baby shower.” “Well it’s about them, they are the ones getting married.”
How about, WELL IT’S ABOUT HOW I DON’T WANT TO FUCKING GO, THEREFORE I’M NOT.
Why can’t that be my answer?
For example when I drove a half hour to go to my best friend’s 3D ultrasound on my relaxing Sunday. Twenty minutes of them trying to get good shots of the baby while it’s still in the fucking womb. In two months you can take real live pictures of him, did you know that?
Why you want to be able to print out pictures of his blurry cheeks and nose in a foggy orange hue I have no idea. I think I’d just wait until he popped out and take pictures of him then, when he looks far less like an alien that someone drew on with cheetos.
Walking out of that place I just rolled my head back and murmured up to the clouds “I got out of my pajamas for that?”
This was nothing compared to what was coming.
An hour after I got home I received a text from one of my married friends who I actually believe is still a person. Her personness was evident today when she texted me a heads up that my engaged friends are mad at me for not wanting to come to the Bride-to-Be’s Bachelorette party on Thursday.
I know what you’re thinking. Out of every event in regards to weddings, the Bachelorette is the one you’d assume I’d be the most willing to attend. Not the case this time.
This Bachelorette is on a Thursday night and is located about 45 min away from our area. It consists of a dinner and then going back to the maid of honors house nearby for more merriment.
The dinner is at a restaurant, that is a chain. There are three of this same restaurant in our area alone, each about 15 min away or less.
This dinner starts promptly at 6:00pm on a Thursday (for most of my girfriends that were invited to this, they will just be getting out of work around this time, and then still have to drive 45 min out there) and afterwards we all skip (drive) on over to the home in which we will have facials and desserts.
Facials and desserts.
Let me repeat that for you. We are indeed driving almost an hour to go to a very common restaurant chain, and then driving on over to a house to have facials and desserts.
For a Bachelorette.
Has the world come to this?
So because none of this sounded appealing or even actually something I could realistically make it to on time, I figured I probably wouldn’t be able to go it. Such a bummer.
I’m actually legitimately waking up early the following morning too. I have been volunteering at a non profit three days a week in the morning/early afternoon for a couple of months now and recently I have been waking up at 6:00am on Friday mornings. So it’s not hard to see why staying at this random girls house in the middle of nowhere for a piece of cake and a facial isn’t exactly worth it to me when I need to attempt an early bedtime.
None of this inconvenience was considered by the engaged couple. They only see that I’m a terrible friend in not doing everything in my power to make it to this wonderful event.
My married friend that is still a person, even divulged that the couple said “What kind of friend wouldn’t go..” several times, in regards to me.
What I love most about this, is that I was considering and actually entertaining the possibility of getting myself there for the dinner at least, when none of my other girlfriends were.
I had talked to three of my other friends that were invited, all of whom have full time, 9-5ish jobs and no desire to attend this Bachelorette party. Basically I was just the first one to admit I wasn’t going, and was then targeted.
Through the back and forth and the calling between me and the other girls we are now attempting to carpool to the dinner that we will still be late to. However we are not going so far as to pretend that we are staying for the facials.
Especially when my latest intelligence informed me that the “facials” we are having will be given by a Mary Kay agent.
You already have the worst ever Bachelorette party planned and you then wanted to take it to a whole other level of kill me by making it a Mary Kay party?
I’m currently in the middle of helping plan two different baby showers, both of which will be more exciting than this Bachelorette party.
If I continue to hear about what a terrible friend I am, and how I’ve wronged this engaged couple (why is the groom-to-be so upset when he won’t even be there?) I may stay home simply out of spite?
Yes yes I know I know, it’s not about be.
Fuck it. It’s all about me, because I’m single.