Wait…so you don’t want to get drunk off cheap wine and talk about how hot the guys are on random game shows?… I don’t understand.
Oh married friends, I’m starting to sense the parting of our ways.
Is it time to let them go? Or maybe I need to get my shit together?…nah, the time thing.
Left my to-be-married-in-like-three-months friends house just a couple moments ago and said to myself wow I think they barely survived that, and by that I mean hanging out with my single friend and I who basically dropped F bombs left and right (mostly me), drank wine out of the bottle (mostly her), reenacted the night my parents called me an alcoholic (all me), and discussed the hot or not people on TV (both of us).
I didn’t mean to overwhelm this happily engaged pair,but I guess it had just been awhile since they had hung out with the two of us at the same time, while we consumed alcohol.
What triggered this spontaneous hangout in the first place was my best friends wedding this weekend. The almost married couple attended and caught up with my friend and I, and then texted us to hang out two days later.
Maybe they forgot what we are like or perhaps thought we had matured. It’s possible that they do not even realize that they have in fact changed and act one hundred percent married. They’re so believable that I even wondered if they had cheated and read their vows to one another. Maybe one of them had their mom go online and become sanctioned (is that even what it’s called?) and she officiated (is that right either?) them as man and wife right there in the kitchen.
I’m really not sure what they were expecting when inviting us over. I’m still single and now unemployed, did you think I’d be LESS drunk?
I would like to believe that the two of them just outgrew me, and it’s not that I’ve become any less hilarious. Or maybe the ways in which I used to be outrageously funny are now ridiculous to them due to their more sedentary,and well lets face it, boring lifestyles.
I suppose filling my wine glass to the brim and loudly telling stories using wild hand motions doesn’t make me anyone’s ideal guest but doesn’t my cynicism, foul language, sexual innuendos, and overall inappropriate behavior make me a form of entertainment, if you will?
Perhaps I used to be, but at this stage in this soon to be wed couples life maybe they are looking for a source of entertainment a tad more sophisticated than what I can bring to the table.
Hats off to them for wanting to grow up a little. Maybe I’ll find new friends in the section where they sell that ridiculous cheap wine I keep purchasing.
Psh, you sound too fun for them anyway.