crying in the driveway, hi mom and dad

I just want to publicly state, and revel in the shame of the fact that as of yesterday I am moved back in with my parents.

Yup. Humbling. Is humbling the right word?… Humiliating comes to mind. Yes lets replace humbling with humiliating because that is more accurate.

So yes I’m back in my hometown, in my old room, starting my new job tomorrow.
At the least I can say there is a new job right? Does that make it better?

It doesn’t seem better, as I currently look at a card I drew my friend when I was twenty, placed next to an obnoxiously pink fake flower next to cds I bought when I was 18. At least I found a good magazine cut out of Adam Levine, he just gets better with time. The photos hung up around my room are of my friends before they got married, you know, like back when we did things together.

I found tickets to a show that my favorite musician was playing at. I probably had thrown myself at the stage and tried to sing all of his songs the loudest. Two days ago twitter told me he was engaged so should I get used to not seeing him at shows right? Or do married musicians still do things?

So yesterday when I pulled up in my little prias into my parents driveway, my backseat and trunk stuffed to the max, I cried. Yup, just cried in the driveway. Parked the car and latched my arms around the steering wheel and just cried.

I think at some point I should tell my parents that most of that sob session was actually due to the guy I’ve been infatuated with having ended things with me earlier that day. I believe one of the last things he said was “text me when you’re ready, to be FRIENDS.” How about I lose my phone forever instead.

Now granted I didn’t expect to show up at my parents house with all my stuff, all smiles and bursting with pride, but I didn’t expect to start bawling upon arrival either. Remind me to tell my parents thank you, for letting me live with them for awhile, and that I didn’t mean to start a cry fest the moment I got there.

So yeah, not the best start. But now I’m going to rifle through my journals from fourth grade and remember when I used to be real good at tether ball.

3 thoughts on “crying in the driveway, hi mom and dad

  1. beautybeastandthebitch

    Sometimes starting at the bottom again can be the solid foundation in which you restart your life again. I could imagine how hard that would be, just think of it as temporary thing and take a “life break”, you may be surprised how refocused you can get and set better and more clear goals πŸ™‚ I write a lot on my blog and I don’t read a lot of them… but I really like yours!


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