A pen? I’m not familiar with this word

This past Monday night I screamed MY LIFE IS COMPLETE, I CAN DIE NOW, FINALLY!!, and other novelty exclamations about having finished my life’s work and giving the world permission to end now.

Because I finally got his number.

I mean it’s been a year people. A whole flippin year of being infatuated with one person and this Monday night I got his number.

Do I care that in a weeks time I’ll be living in a different city that is about three hours away? No. Okay well maybe a little, but mostly No. Because I did it! I did that thing! That getting the number thing! I got the number of the guy I literally think about on the daily, who I wait extremely impatiently to come in every day, who is so cute it’s hard to think.

He comes in to tell me that he will be out of town for my last week at work, that this will be the last day he’ll see me. I was pretty sad but I had known that I would only see him a couple more days anyway.

And then he says, “Do you have a pen?”

I look at him blankly. Seconds pass and I’m still looking at him.

A pen…hmmm…I feel that I should know what that is.

I love that in this moment I know that there is indeed a pen in my apron pocket, but those signals have no intention of telling my mouth at all. Finally after probably an eternity I fish it out of my pocket, shocked that it could be found in this pocket where I always have it. I give him the pen (somehow) and he writes his number down on a card and says here is my number if you want to keep in touch, you can call or text me.

I just want to state that I could not love him more for giving me his number even though I couldn’t figure out what a pen was.

Now the ending of this story is amazing. Like amazing. Did he swoop me into his arms and dip me into a deep kiss as the sun was going down? No. But did I crazily sprint to his car like a psycho? yes.

I was still behind the bar when he left the store. We kept saying bye and then finding something else to talk about and then we’d say bye again. Finally he was really leaving, we said bye and we both paused standing there before finally he went out the door.

And then I stood there, and it all felt so unfinished. This is when I slightly lost it.

I started to scream my coworkers name, when she came over I yelled in her face. HE IS LEAVING HE IS LEAVING RIGHT NOW I’LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN WHAT DO I DO TELL ME WHAT TO DO DO I GIVE HIM A HUG RIGHT NOW HE IS LEAVING DO I HUG HIM DO I TELL ME TELL ME NOW NOW NOW

Her words did the trick “fucking go. go right now”

And I did. I was sprinting out of the store while taking off my apron. I was sprinting out of the store and around the corner. I sprinted almost all the way up to his car, where in my panic that I thought he was leaving, I knocked on his passenger side window. He was getting out of his car by the time I was at the drivers side door. I can’t remember exactly how this moment went down or what words I said really, I think I said something to the extent of I don’t know when I’ll see you again so would it be okay if I gave you a hug? He must have said yes because next thing I know were in a full embrace.

I remember almost nothing after the hug. Like seriously nothing. I know he smiled and I smiled and I said something and looked down a lot and then he said something? Ah well, I mean the hug was a big thing for me, it can’t all be perfect.

Safely back in the store is when I began to scream about how the world can end now, I’ve had a full life now, life is complete, etc. My coworkers were all very excited for me, when they weren’t laughing hysterically about the way that whole event unfolded.

Two days later and I’m still sitting here like damn, I have his number. Can you believe it?

and that hug wasn’t so bad either…

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